Did you know that Besigye Spielberg recently released a sequel to his April 2011 hit movie, Walk To Work? I didn’t. And I’m in the business of knowing things.
The sequel, titled Walk To Work: Rise Of The Legs, premiered countrywide just three days ago, to very little critical acclaim. Some critics reviewed the thing even before watching it because, as it is generally known, critics hate being caught off guard.
When you enter their house through the bedroom window and instruct them to review a movie chap chap, they’ll call it stupid. Well, they’ll call you stupid but it will rub off as a movie review.
Here are my humble thoughts on why Steven Kizza’s new movie didn’t become a box office hit as expected.
The political thought:
Muzamiru, the boda guy from State House in charge of stealing new movies for Eddiesoft before they get to Cineplex (they made him cabinet minister to give him a sense of pride and purpose in life), distributed a wrong copy that instructed UNEB to start S.4 exams.
So the entire country was watching S.4 exams when bam! opposition just started walking. No one was ready.
The expectations thought:
Ugandans thought there would be a more innovative spin to this one. They expected something different like Crawl To Work or Jump To Work or Break Dance To Work. But the colonel instead took us back to how the legs rose against humans; more of a prequel, actually.
And Ugandans naturally tend to not like watching their own body parts turn against them.
The Obama one:
Brother Barack Opolot Obama sent soldiers to Uganda; deadly soldiers who we see here everyday inside our TVs killing aliens and bombing buildings taller than Workers House.
The official story is that after UPDF captured a pair of Kony’s pajamas, they were supposed to give them to the American commandos for sniffing so that their special American military noses smell Kony out of the bush.
But the DVD Muzamiru distributed had a few deleted scenes that had the American soldiers cutting off people’s legs and feeding them to yellow dogs. So people instinctively cancelled all walking plans. Another deleted scene had the soldiers surrounding an oil well. But that’s news for another day.
The public relations one:
When launching a major product, a serious company will do some advertising and public relations. But the A4C launched the new Walk to Work without anything like that. Not even an attractive promo like “The first 50 walkers get a free pair of modified legs”.
The legendary thought:
Uncle Besi, people just want to party, man. For now, at least. Everyone is working hard to buy new clothes for the 4.11.11 Legendary Party at Boda Boda so that they impress someone and get laid that night. Chill out and let Gerald Karuhanga take care of things. Just buy some less political clothes for you and Auntie Nyim Nyim and come hang with us. You can even walk to the party if you want.