Good evening, and depending on the time zone you are reading from, good afternoon. I have lugezigezi.
If you don’t believe me, watch as I demonstrate with this post.
Have you, or someone you know, been heard referring to a mobile phone handset as “an android”?
- Call me on my new android.
- The youth of these days seem to like buying androids. They are the in thing.
- People with androids are just posers. Fukkem.
- Eh maama dat boy she have bought a new android.
Maybe you have heard your friends, workmates, classmates, pastors or mother saying this. Maybe you have done it yourself.
If so, shut up. An Android is not a phone.
An android, and please imagine me wearing the most annoyingly smug facial expression as I say this, is a robot that has not been invented and is only seen in science fiction movies.
What you really mean to refer to is an android phone. That is, a phone that runs on the Android operating system.
Mbu “I bought an android”. Look at this one.
Saying you have an android when all you have is a phone, is like holding up a computer that runs on Windows 7 and saying, gleefully, to the whole world, with no trace of shame, probably with your fly unzipped, and a damp smell seeping out, that, “Hey look. I have a window!”
Oh, I’m not done yet. I have another one.
When you watch a cartoon and you say you have watched an animation, you my friend, are speaking illiterate. You might as well say, “I has wuched en animashon! Lolgomg!”
It’s funny because the person has misspelled his misspelling.
A cartoon is actually supposed to be referred to as an Animated Film, or Animated Picture. Animation is the process of making one. As in, you make an animated film through animation.
Calling a a cartoon an animation is like seeing something made through the process of drawing, a drawtion. Or a drawing. Wait. Wrong example.
I have one last one before I leave you alone.
People often refer to the president of the US as Barack Obama. This is wrong. Barack Obama does not have a legal mandate to preside over the US, due to his lack of valid US Citizenship. It is a fact that Obama was not born in America.
He was cloned in a lab from the DNA of Superman, John F Kennedy and Shaka Zulu. The law clearly requires you to be born.
So, now that I have infuriated you with my pompous behavior, and you have beef, and you want to point out whatever grammatical mistakes I have left in this article, you know where I’ll be on the 4th of November. Bring it.