But Namwe, They Are Innocent

By • Oct 13th, 2011 • Category: WTH

The presumption of innocence and the benefit of the doubt are essential to justice. It’s not always easy to be fair, but you can’t fight injustice with injustice, because then only injustice can win.

So, technically, when a man is charged with a crime, we should wait until he is proven guilty by a court before we start the lynching.



Sometimes the scene is so horrid, so foul, so ripe and swelling and bursting with filth, sometimes you look at it and are immediately stymied by how vile the whole thing is; there are worms slithering all over it, bulging out of its orifices; entire clans of flies are growing obese on the slime that festers all over it; boils erupt with green pus that blows stenches into the air that will cauterize any nose glands that get too close. At a time like this, you don’t look and say, “Well, let me take a reading and see what the computer tells me your hygiene levels are.”

I mean, technically, it is possible that this thing doesn’t pose a serious threat to human life. Maybe the germs on it are only harmful to dogs. I mean, you could give it the benefit of the doubt.

But seriously. Fuck that shit. Kill the beast. Get a large, powerful flamethrower and send this damn thing to its father beelzebub.

Now, the other legends are way more savvy at political satire than I am, because when I try to create a symbol of NRM government corruption (as I have above) I end up with something that pales in comparison to how disgusting the real thing is. The rotting hell-zombie I tried to describe above is like a fluffy bunny rabbit when you put it next to the real thing.

I am not casting stones. I don’t steal, personally, but I will not be so hasty as to deny that I would jump at it if the right opportunity to pilfer the right amount came along. If somebody left a million dollars in a backpack in the middle of a lonely street, I would only think of the morally correct protocol (calling the police, trying to find the owner) with some slight regret afterwards. But that would be my money henceforth. I will feel guilty, but then again, it IS a million dollars. If I steal that, I will never have to steal anything else ever again.

Don’t judge me. Understand me. Don’t condemn, comprehend. It won’t be right, but it will be human. It’s a million bucks.

However, there is a level of theft that just boggles the mind. It is unearthly. It is not of this world. I was going to say it is psychotic, but that’s not even it. It’s like Luciferian the way these people steal. You already stole enough to build two mansions. You already have a fleet of cars, land and a thriving business. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL STEALING?

Really, we have had the same people in government for 25 years. They’ve been at it for 25 years. Surely by now they have reached and surpassed the “Enough” level. Even as a person who admits that I would practice at least a little bit of corruption if I was in government, I am flabbergasted. These guys should have peaked around 1998 and said, “Okay, I’ve stolen enough. Now I’m set. I can now let public funds go to do the work they are supposed to do. Let’s host Choggum properly. Let’s allow the oil to develop this shithole country so street kids stop freaking dying on the road side every time they get bitten by mosquitos.”

I mean, really. If I was the corrupt NRM, there would be no corruption left. I would have eaten enough by now. I would be full. I would have left the rest of the food for you pathetic powerless citizens to eat.

But yet they are still at it. How many stomachs do these people have?

When things are this bad, it’s no longer prudent, it’s no longer wise, the benefit of the doubt no longer makes any sense. The place stinks too much. Find whatever looks disgusting and throw it out.

Now, Nasasira, Onek, Kutesa, Fucking Mbabazi etc say they are innocent, and maybe they are, maybe pigs fly when our backs are turned, maybe Barack Obama’s real name is Wilbur Jones and he’s secretly a superhero. Anything is possible, I guess.

But this sausage stinks. And we won’t eat it. Mbu step aside. Fire them, dammit.


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