How does one love? What is the procedure? What are the methods? Which techniques are most efficient in this endeavor? These are the questions Ugandans of all nationalities all over the world have asked themselves many many times.
Only one person can answer that question. Dr Dwayne Wayne F Baby Carter, Ph.D.
At least that’s what we thought after hearing his song. We had our doubts at first. I called him and asked him,
Q: You Wayne.
Q: Weezy. Tunechi. I.M. Baboon after steroids and tattoos.
A: Eh. Say the F, baby.
Q: I.M. F. Baboon.
A: Why you a hater?
Q: Because I don’t know how to love, man.
A: It’s okay. I will teach you.
Q: But do you really know how to love? There is this photograph that has been reproduced all over the internet of you doing it wrong.
Q: I mean, I know he’s your boss, but you were kissing the wrong end.
A: Eh. Well, there is this picture the shows I did it right.
Q: Okay. Now, Real Wain, as you are called on some TV shows in Uganda, how does one love?
A: Eh. First of all, you say the F. Baby.
Q: Got it. What next?
A: Well, You had a lot of crooks try to steal your heart. Never really had luck, couldn’t ever figure out. How to love. How to love.
Q: So, then what do you do?
A: You had a lot of moments that didn’t last forever. Now you’re in this corner tryna put it together. How to love. How to love.
Q: So how does one love?
A: For a second you were here, now you over there. It’s hard not to stare, the way you moving your body like you never had a love. Never had a love.
Q: Are you stalling? We want to hear how you got Lauren London not how we are haharing without, yet that’s all you are saying so far. That we are haharing without…
A: When you was just a young and your looks were so precious, but now your grown up, so fly it’s like a blessing but you can’t have a man look at you for five seconds.
Q: Boss, thanks for this interview. I’m going to Wikihow because you are not helping me.
A: First wait. I’m still telling you. You never credit yourself, so when you got older, it’s seems like you came back ten times over. Now you’re sitting here in this damn corner.