toe shoes

Notes From An Idle Mind; Put a foot In It!

By • Sep 28th, 2011 • Category: Notes From An Idle Mind

I have electricity this time, so I’m not going to bitch, but I also happen to be at the office at 7:30pm, which is not cool. Occupational hazards really, so let’s not make this your problem.

Of course, seeing as one’s productivity wears out as the day progresses and by the time you hit hours such as this you’re really of no use in any constructive discourse, my thoughts will likely start wandering.  Actually, if I was certain my boss wasn’t going to read this, I’d be able to pinpoint the exact time my sensibility took flight and random thoughts stepped in. Thoughts about shoes for instance.

Oh yeah, baby. You know I just wanna slide it in...what, I meant my foot!

There’s a particularly offensive pair of sneakers that seem to be making the rounds around (is that even grammatically correct) town. The first time I saw them the offender looked like one of those holiday makers that you would likely find stealing your drink in the club.

I have no serious expectations of that kind and as such I sort of feel I’d have no one to blame for the resultant ulcer borne of my disgust. I should have known better. You see, if I had walked over to this perp and wagged a stern finger his way whilst saying, “don’t do it again”, maybe he would have told his friends to avoid these shoes. Unfortunately, I didn’t do that and I suspect the conversation he had with his peers went thus;

A Red Sole Exhibitor: Lookit!

Happy OnLooker Excitedly: Some shoes!

Hater: Some ‘vupping’ traffic lights!

Traffic man, officer...

And like that he didn’t see anything wrong with what he was doing and now there’s a pair on every street. Just because I screwed up doesn’t mean you can’t make a difference. You can stop this. Wag a finger; fire off a couple of shots. Do whatever it takes to put an end to this madness.

Of course some things you have to make your peace with. Like gladiators. I don’t get why they are such a hit, but then again, it’s not really my place to understand these things. . .but seriously, even on Venus, such stuff has been relegated to the days of ancient Rome.

Ladies, have you considered what you are doing to people with foot fetishes? Think of all the guys looking at your feet and thinking, “yeah, I’d hit that…if I could see it” You’re being selfish…and I’m almost certain it is well documented some place that ankles need air. There is certain to be a medical journal that documents that fact…or a proverb that alludes to it. It’s like sleeping with underwear. That shit can mess you up.

When in Rome, I suppose... in Ancient Rome, that is.

Is it possible to wear this offensive footwear and still look good? Yes, but in small amounts. Minimalism is key. Case in point, if a lady decides to apply highlights to her hair; a streak of blue here, a streak of red… fine. A few heads will turn, life will go on, but when you decide to apply the full rainbow range…and you have no intention of announcing the onslaught of some local music video, you’re just being heartless.

Don’t come at me with the pitchforks, I already said I’ve made my peace with these things, however, I’d like to go on record as having said that you don’t know what you are getting yourself into.

Like the guys and gals who wear crocs.

.... Like a styled up local artiste

What is your deal? I’ve heard defenders of the crocs movement saying that they are so comfortable…you know what else is comfortable? Walking in the nude, but you don’t see that happening too often. Well, okay, there’s the mad guy on that road in that place, but notice how not everyone is doing that? I’m not going to hate on them all out seeing as they do have a major benefit that not many forms of footwear can claim, ventilation. It would take a certain amount of skill to accumulate carbon in those things.

But of course, things could get worse…

Yep, someone just did it

Liking this article is what happens to cool people

About Ivan

doesn't get why you feel compelled to force an accent when you're talking to summers