PSA. The Right Name For The Right Goon

By • Aug 29th, 2011 • Category: WTH

Since we don’t think you are on the internets, because you are either serving pilau to your non-muslim friends or you are benching your muslim friends for pilau, we will also leave and head for Abid’s house. So here is a break from our regularly scheduled programming for a public service announcement.

The National Commitee on Culture and Moral Guidance has on offer these  High-quality stage names for upcoming local artistes at very good prices. You cannot, as they say when they don’t know the difference between a transitive verb and its intransitive cousin, afford to miss!

 

Dreddy Mac

@ Sh320,000

Perfect for ragga dancehall performers with eccentric hair who wish to use the Rastafarian religion to gain some appearance of spiritual depth even though all they do is smoke weed and sing about getting laid. For an extra sh50,000 we’ll throw in the title MC.

 

Stone P

@ Sh 220,000

For singers who wish to work with tribal songs fused with modern styles. Good for people with provincial roots. If you are from the east, you can claim that the name alludes to the Tororo rock. Or if you are from Jinja you can say the name alludes to the word Jinja translated into English. Works wherever you are from. (Allusions @ sh20,000)

 

Jam Dizz

Sh70,000

For the one hit wonder or curtain raiser who chants barely-decipherable non-rhyming party clichés over karaoke beats

 

Bustaman

Sh70,000

Are you a flunky, buttkissing henchman clinger-on? This is the name for you.

 

UBS-approved.

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