Silly Couple Fights

By • Aug 10th, 2011 • Category: Society, Suburbans

Stray Bird

Here is a phone conversation I had recently with my boyfriend:

 

Me: Hi!

My Boyfriend: Hey!

 

Me: I hear a bit of sarcasm in your tone.

My boyfriend: Sarcasm? Why would I be sarcastic?

 

Me: How would I know? Ask yourself.

My boyfriend: But pray tell me, how can a “Hey” be sarcastic?

 

Me: You would not understand. Forget it.

My boyfriend: Maclynn, if you did not want me to think about it, why even mention it? Answer my question – how can a “Hey!” be sarcastic?

 

Me: I donno. I no longer feel the same warmth in your tone.

My boyfriend: Is it because of the cold I have?

 

Me: See, you are being sarcastic again.

My boyfriend: Yes, this time, I agree.

 

Me: If you can agree now…why didn’t you agree earlier?

My boyfriend: I am not being sarcastic baby. Tell me what makes you think something is wrong.

 

Me: I don’t know. My heart says so.

My boyfriend: Your heart? I didn’t know hearts could speak!

 

Me: See…you are being sarcastic again!

My boyfriend: Yes, this time also, I agree.

 

Me: I feel things aren’t the same with us anymore.

My boyfriend: What makes you feel so?

 

Me: Your tone.

My boyfriend: Do you think gargling would help? It is this darn cold.

 

Me: I can see the sarcasm flowing again.

My boyfriend: Yes, this time also, I agree.

 

Me: You never used to raise your voice at me.

My boyfriend: But baby, we have known each other for four years now. Even married couples start fighting after four years!

 

Me: Don’t. Don’t raise your voice.

My boyfriend: No I didn’t! I didn’t raise my voice at all!

 

Me: Now you are. Why are you shouting?

My boyfriend: If you get unreasonable, what do I do?

 

Me: See….I told you…you aren’t the same anymore.

My boyfriend: Oh God! What makes you think so?

 

Me: Don’t raise your voice, I said.

My boyfriend: No sweetheart. I am not raising my voice.

 

Me: You don’t have to say that so loudly. I am NOT deaf.

My boyfriend: I know you are not deaf of ears.

 

Me: See…sarcasm again.

My boyfriend: Oh my God! Tell me what I have to do to make you happy!

 

Me: Just be yourself.

My boyfriend: Baby, I am being myself.

 

Me: No, this isn’t the man I fell in love with.

My boyfriend: I am just myself. How can a man who lives for 100 years change drastically in four years?

Me: You never used to argue with me earlier.

My boyfriend: I am not arguing!

 

Me: Don’t shout!

My boyfriend: I am not shouting!

 

Me: I think you want to dump me.

My boyfriend: No I don’t. Why would I? This started as a casual conversation and here we are talking of dumping?

 

Me: Yes. That’s what you want to do…and I can feel that.

My boyfriend: What makes you feel that?

 

Me: I donno! I just know.

My boyfriend: How can you know, when you donno…

 

Me: I donno…

My boyfriend: Ok fine. So what should we do? You suggest.

 

Me: Take a one-week break, maybe?

My boyfriend: I am fine with the idea, if that’s what you want.

 

Me: I don’t want that. I am just doing it for you.

My boyfriend: What??!!

 

Me: Yes. Let us take a break, if that’s what you want.

My boyfriend: Ok fine.

 

Me: Now you being sarcastic…

My boyfriend: How can “Ok fine” be sarcastic?

 

Me: I donno…

My boyfriend: I donno too sweetheart. But, bye.

 

Me: Bye.

My boyfriend: Yes, take care. Call me if you feel like calling me.

 

Me: See…you are being sarcastic about my feelings now.

My boyfriend: Yes, I was.

*Thank God his phone battery went off. Else, you would have been forced to read two more pages of gibberish.

 

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