Due to the bitingly high prices of sugar, the government has moved to impose heavy taxes on anything that consumes, looks like, smells like or even has any connection to sugar, whatsoever. This has severely affected all married and unmarried couples who dare to refer to each other as sugar, sweetheart, cherry pie or honey.
Speaking at the weekly sugar briefing at parliament this morning, the new Minister of Sweet Things advised lovers to stick to non-taxable endearments if they didn’t want to run broke. “I strongly encourage people in love to use those sweet sugary words sparingly. If you really must use them, talk to your partner and start budgeting properly so that you know when to call each other sugar and how much it will cost you.”
The minister then revealed some of the tax-free words lovers could use. “You can call her baby, love, dear, doll, pussycat, kitty, pancake, bean in my soup and even just girlfriend or wife. The woman can call the man daddy, google, darling or just boyfriend or husband.”
He cautioned that anyone caught saying sweet things to their loved ones without paying for them would be arrested immediately and charged with unlawful and disorderly utilization of love affairs. “Even giving each other gifts of sweets, chocolate…those things. It’s idle and disorderly and you will be arrested severely.”