This is the only real life discussion you’ll ever get from me so pay close attention. But first, I’m dying so be right back.
That’s better. Now.
Many a time we take the most fundamental things in life for granted. Like after having a nice meal, you forget to walk up to the kind waiter and tell him “Ssebo, nga the bill is delaying”. Or after years of an honest marriage, you forget to appreciate your spouse every once in a while with a new kid from another spouse instead of the same old kids you keep unreasonably putting inside her.
Today, let’s not ignore the most important questions that build us into what we are today. Let’s ask ourselves:
- What if my parents had never met, would my phone still have fallen in water?
- What if all MPs represented us by somersaulting and doing bendover for us?
- Wh t if the letter “ ” w s not there in this sentence?
- What if the eggs I was frying suddenly stood up and asked why I had refused to let them grow into real chickens with a bright future?
- What if pigs were given the freedom to choose what they wanted to be called?
- What if my plate of katogo suddenly became aware of its rights?
- What if there was a stranger out there whose name I didn’t even know?
- What if Red Pepper staff wore nappies during their meetings?
In totally unrelated news:
We can’t fight properly with only two fighter jets. Wamma please buy more, Mister President. The teachers can wait until the economy is big enough to start sustaining people’s needs.
- What if I could transform into my favourite meal every time I was hungry?
- What if I knew the things I know and didn’t know the things I don’t know?
- What if my name really didn’t love me back?
- What if Tamale Mirundi’s brain told him to get his act together before they could become friends again?
- What if I took the time and hid it from all clocks and watches in the world?
- What if boda bodas were actually evil aliens that planned to take over the world by taking us to our destinations and asking for money for it?
- What if all sound on earth went on strike until its problems were heard?
- What if my eyes didn’t have a clue about the weird things I’ve seen in life?
- What if light and darkness stopped acting so childish and started working together?
- What if the fighter jets said no to the president’s sexual advances?
- What if this article ended abruptly withou