Harry Potter, Please be my Penpal

By • Jul 19th, 2011 • Category: WTH

Dear Harry,
I go by names of Kembabazi Massi, or Marcy or Mercey (it is a name here in Uganda that everyone has heard but even me I am not sure how they spell it). I am in S1 at Kyamate Girls SSS in Ntungamo. I am a Westerner. In Uganda, Mercies, Peninahs, Macklines and Jollys are Westerners; and Natasha if they are hot. The good side of being a westerner is that we mainly have good skin. The bad side is that when we sweat instead of using Sure or Nivea roll-on we just smear there ghee.
I am a biggest fun of yours. This holiday I went to visit my aunt who stays in Kampala. She has a TV and a DVD deck. I saw your film where you made a car fly because of the traffic jam. I swear you boy you are too too bright. All these years no one in Uganda has made a car fly. Yet there is so much traffic jam. If you want to make money you move here. We already have many witchdoctors but I think you can out-compete them because you are white. The only white witch doctor in all of Africa is Mr. Bones but him he likes to do stupid things of gassing gassing what what. I think you can out-compete him.

The other day my brother was disturbing me. I got a dry stick and shook it at him but no lights came out and he didn’t cry. I went back and watched the movie and I saw the mistake. Next time I will shout “CRUCIAL”. I don’t know what is so crucial but anyway I will shout it and see what happens.
Anyway I was hearing the radio and it said that you are going to show another film and it is the last film. I won’t lie, for me I will be sad. What are you going to do now? Are you going to become a teacher like Dumb Door (RIP. Rest In Peace, Amen). My aunt is a counselor at Bweranyangi and if you want I can ask her to counsel you career guidance. I don’t want you to be poor.
In the meantime, please write to me as soon as possible. I do not have an owl but I hope that the Ntungamo Post Office reaches Hogwarts. Hoping to hear from you soon. Just mic-mac your letter to po box 321 Ntungamo for optimum results. in our area boys like to hit owls with catapults.

PS: that Ginny girl is lying to you. My cousin also used to be like that having many boys. If you come to kyamate you will find many good girls who won’t lie to you.

PPS: please send me a snap for my album.

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