TOP TEN: Losing the Plot… Smoking

By • Jul 8th, 2011 • Category: Columns, Top 10, WTH

Nicotine is a great synapse enhancer and smoking is a habit that many of us have nurtured since early or mid-adolescence. What most smokers will tell you is that a smoker can stop anytime he wants. Oh yes! I know this to be a fact. See I have this friend, I’ll call him Ashy-face; and he has been stopping any time he wants since he started smoking three years ago. That is how I know.
There is a point at which a smoker knows that he or she is over doing it. There are certain signs. If you keep a look out for them, you will never catch yourself with a lighter in the middle of the night rolling up a spoonful of tea-leaves and smoking them to, “see how it tastes”.

Presenting the top ten ways to know that you need to cut down on the smokes

1- The sight of an ash-tray leaves you dry mouthed with lust.

2- You break the filter off of the cigarette and smoke the cigarette without the filter to see what it is like.

3- Then you smoke the filter.

4- When someone slaps you, cigarette smoke comes out of your ears.

5- Your name appears on the BAT Tax returns.

6- You take a break from smoking to work. (this one is lame, it wasn’t mine, I was under duress)

7- When sniffer dogs are tracking you down, it’s a toss-up between finding you or ending up at a fireplace.

8- You tip waiters with cigarettes.

9- You claim you would quit if you could but what about the poor souls who work in the tobacco factories?

10- You think this is a joke and tell it all the time.

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