No One Man Should Have All That Power

By • Jul 7th, 2011 • Category: In The News

The powers that be have warned of impending lack of power. Ivan gave us a detailed breakdown on the economic implications of this, here. Basically, the body that generates electricity has warned that due to things they cannot go round, they’ll be hooking us up with a lil’ darkness every so often. 12 hours a day. The power-generating body gave us a reason for their failure to keep our bulbs shinning and our Samsung Tablets fully charged but we all know those people tell lies. Presenting, 5 real possible reasons for the impending 12-hour power cuts.

  1. The government is out to improve the country’s image in the international media. So they are implementing Kiveijinja’s bright idea which he blurted out during a government brain-storming session in a dimly lit joint in Nalukolongo. “In the evenings, when many tourists are out and about, we hit the lights so they do not see the potholes.”
  2. Bebe Cool, the insanely cool local artist (for purposes of brevity, that can also be written as ‘the insane local artist’), is secretly learning how to use MS Word 2003. He particularly doesn’t like the auto-correct feature because, among other things, it doesn’t have words like ‘kasepiki’. He is currently looking to buy a PC, with MS Word, without auto-correct. This delicate search has to be done sans lights
  3. The government is conducting not-so-public running man and moonwalk lessons for select cabinet ministers in a bid to make them hip, relevant and sweaty. By night, they fly in former running man untouchable, MC Hammer to demonstrate how it is done. Naturally, the not-so-young ministers are not picking the steps  fast enough so lessons have so far been kept to teaching them the phrase “You can’t touch this”
  4. There’s a mad scientist somewhere in Kalerwe that has promised Uganda a new and improved Ernest Wasake. Naturally, such a project has the government’s full support, so all electricity is pumped into it, for the good of the nation
  5. Robert Parkinsons, famous for his wussy vampire role in Twilight, is in town. In jinja town. They are filming a real horror in which he is a real vampire terrorizing the Basoga girls in Jinja town, biting, sucking blood, screaming. All kinds of things. Blood and gore, not for the faint-hearted. So they hit the lights to film without disturbance.
  6. Robert Pattinson

    Watch out Idinda gurls

     

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