TOP TEN: Exam Fails

By • Jun 17th, 2011 • Category: Columns, Top 10

What, one might ask, is a fail?
A fail, is a real world manifestation of weakness. For example, you see a tsetse looking chick (because she is fly) and you want to do bad manners with her. But when you walk up to her all you can manage is…

God I feel daft
That is what is called a FAIL!!!

However, I am not here to talk about that sort of fail. In school, (we have all been to school no? Are we all educated here? We are? Are you sure? Alright)
… In school, we all did exams. And if you have done exams, then you have failed at least once. This is a different kind of a fail, this is a fail that no one can blame you for. This is basically walking up to aforementioned chick and laying game down on her but mid giggle the boyfriend comes along and ruins everything.


This is not a FAIL. it might be failing.

Some of the stuff in school was just ridiculous.

Can anyone tell me the use of the silent letter?

But nonetheless there are some people who do not know what is to flunk an exam (I hear such animals exist). Well, I have set a small paper of my own. If you are the sort of person whose Fairy Godmother sprinkled magic dust in their cornflakes every morning, would you please oblige me and try your hand at a few of these questions. And when you are done would you be so kind as to enter your marks in the comment box at the bottom?


 

PRESENTING: YOUR TOP TEN GUARANTEED FAILS
INSTRUCTIONS: This is a closed book closed notes test. Calculators and outside papers are not allowed. Each number is worth 10 points. You may begin.

1- 553/2 Biology:
Make life………………………….. 15 minutes

2- 840/2 Computer Studies
Download a cat……………………..11 minutes
(Download Managers are prohibited)

3- 535/3 Physics:
Float …………………………. 7 minutes

4- 314/2 French: Grammar & Reading Comprehension
Translate the following to Francaise (2 points each)
• Blariful
• Straka
• ROR
• Cockwittery
• Cho!
………………………………….. 2 minutes

5- 475/2 Additional Mathematics
Find the square root of fifteen. (The word, not the number)

6- 752/2 Power and Energy
Do fifteen cock push-ups ……………………….. 5 minutes
(If you do not have a cock of your own you may borrow from a neighbour.)

7- 224/3 CRE: The Early Church
Here is some water. Make Waragi. ………………………5 minutes

8- 285/1 Political Education
Start World War 3…………………………..5 minutes.

9– 610/4 Fine Art
Draw what I am thinking. …………………. 8 minutes

10- 513/8008  P.E.
Run a marathon……………… 2 minutes
(Sweating may lead to loss of marks)

 

GOOD LUCK ….

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