Health Ministry Loses Sh600m Meant For Drugs
By Leading Daily
SETTING: Dilapidated office. The Minister of Health sits in a large armchair. He is having a quick lunch of fingernails and saliva. Enter office minion.
Minion: you wanted me?
Health Minister: (nervously) did you find the 600 million?
Minion: Boss, I checked everywhere, under the couch, behind the plastic potted plants, inside the tea-girls bra, everywhere!
Health Minister: yeah… about the tea- girls bra, I had already checked. Whew! So now what! Check the baby, maybe the baby ate it.
Minion: Impossible! By then the tea-girls had already eaten the baby…
Health Minister: (jaw dropping in shock) WHAT-IN-THE…
Minion: (Apologetically) Zombieland was showing, and they were kind of hungry. (Confidentially) and anyway Boss, sumbis are now 600 at the kiosk.
Health Minister: (sighing) what to do. It can’t be helped. So now, this money was for yellow fever vaccination. People may get yellow fever. What do we do when all of a sudden; Kitgum is littered with yellow people looking…
Minion: (cutting in seamlessly)…like badly fried grasshoppers.
Health Minister: Nice one! Damn! You have to fist bump that one. You just have to.
Minion: (modestly) thank you.
(They fist bump)
Health Minister: We still have this problem, though what if we…
Minion: (excited) Call MTN! Those guys are always into those yellow yellow things.
Health Minister: (also excited) So true. Atte those guys are homeboys; those boys can hook a government up. Yes sireee!
Minion: Wabula we are sorted! Oba what will those boys do?
Health Minister: Who knows, those boys are creative!! Have you seen the Mobile Money commercial? Brilliant! Who would have thought of that?
Minion: to be honest, I might have thought of that… or something like that.
Health Minister: Hmmm, we might need a backup.
Minion: I am still curious, where did the money go? Because I didn’t take it, did you take it?
Health Minister: Waaa.
Health Minister: Kale we are here but the money might show up somewhere so innocent.
Minion: like at UBC
Health Minister: or in the presidential jet.
Minion: Come on, thats old news by now.