How well do you know your pop music? Well enough to take the Urban Legend Pop Quiz? If you answer all the questions right, you stand to win a grand prize of a Jeep Grand Cherokee with a Samsung Galaxy Tab and a years supply of PK.
- Radio and Weasel are a popular heterosexual music duo from Uganda, known for hits such as Talk and Talk, Zuena, and many others. Radio is the one with very many bangles on his hand. Your first question is: How many bangles does Radio have on his hand?
b) One for each illegitimate child
c) As many as it takes to hide the mark of the beast, which is tattooed on his wrist
- Radio’s partner is the bedraggled little dancehall toaster, Weasel. Your second question is: What is Weasel’s real name?
a) Douglas Mayanja
b) Bruce Wayne
c) Edward Sekandi Jr
d) His name is Weasel. Really. His mother looked at him and said, “It’s a weasel. Call it weasel.”
- Ne-Yo is an R&B singer/songwriter who recently ventured into acting, playing the role of a soldier in the movie Battle: Los Angeles. Which of these is true about Ne-Yo as an actor?
a) They used CGI to make his head look like it’s for a normal human being
b) Seriously, Ne-Yo’s head in real life is freakishly misshapen and large
c) If they didn’t disguise it, viewers would think he was one of the aliens
d) Heh heh. His name is short for “Mutwe munene nyo nyo ne-yo!”
- Sean Kingston, the Jamaican popstar behind such hits as “Mi Gyal”, “Mi Virginity” and “Mi Chyockolate Pudding” is coming to Uganda next month to perform a concert. Why is this so?
a) He heard that there is mob autotune here, so he’ll feel right at home.
b) He needs to hide from Buju. Buju wants to bun dem chichiman
c) He is tired of hacks making cheap jokes about him in States, so he is coming to Uganda because he thinks he will be safe here. He is wrong. No matter how much I enjoy his songs, I’m still going to take the piss. Did you hear about the troop of schoolkids who went to Sean Kingston for autographs? He ate them. This was a fat joke.
d) But if ULK gets free tickets to the concert my tone will change. I may decide to write that he’s a sex symbol, not a virgin. And I will stop claiming that he is 42 years old.
- One of many young new rappers in Uganda who perform in English with an accent is Pl@y. That is how his name is spelt. Pl@y. Now, how is it pronounced?
b) Wikipedia says “The @ symbol is known by various different names in English, including “at sign”,”at the rate”, “at symbol”, “at mark”, “commercial at”, “ampersat” and “asperand” “ so we could hazard that he is called Plamperstty or plasperandy”
c) Edward Sekandi
d) Maybe he meant to be called “Play” like Play from the 90’s rap duo Kid N Play, but then when time came to write it down, he thought it would look more avant garde and challenging to use the symbol, so he is TAFKAP
- The next question is: Lady Gaga, seriously, what’s this bird’s deal?
d) Stop hating. Lady Gaga rocks, you bastards!
- And finally. For the grand prize. The final question in this pop quiz. Who is the most gifted, most talented, most magnificent, tallest, wealthiest, most flagrantly dreadlocked, most expensively shod, most fashionably sunglasses-clad, most hoarse-voiced, most attractive to females, most unattractive to chichiman, most explosively musical, downright greatest Ugandan musician in the world?
a) Bebe Cool
b) Seriously. Bebe Cool
c) Not even his wife. Him.
d) What happened to his ka-dog? Remember that ka-dog from the Pam awards of long ago?