because its more fun when they dance alone and you just watch

A Carnival Gon’ Come or The Kampala Carnival 2011

By • Apr 15th, 2011 • Category: Features, WTH

IVAN: When the call came in, I thought there was a restaurant being opened; an extension of the popular Carnivore (or Carni! If you are a native or wannabe) restaurant in Kenya. My first thought was one of apprehension, I had experienced dawa across the border and I was none to eager too have an encore. My liver wept a little at the thought.

“Go and sample meats, nawe” was my editor’s pitch. I’d just had a pretty basic lunch, so my stomach piped up with glee at the prospect of playing host to some much needed foreign guests of higher distinction and class.

When I got to the venue of the launch, I was greeted by the smell of something sumptuous… something…delectable. Turns out this was purely psychological, for you see…

They were not launching this

School food was about to meet its maker

And certainly not this

The food meets its maker

It was things of;

Gentleman pulls away cloth

To say my stomach was royally pissed would be to abuse the institution of understatements, however on the plus side, other sections of my anatomy suddenly realized that they could make an impression.

I looked around for Sleek to make sure at least one of us was not taken up by the display of meat and was writing something for you to look at whilst all around me flashes went off as photographers and journalists with mobile phones blessed with an extension of lens and shutter went into overdrive, sampling the cuisine that the ladies of Kinaya had put together.


On Wednesday, the legends were guests at the media launch of Carnivore restaurant at UMA showground. In the invite, I read ‘carnivore’, picked up toothpicks and headed to the venue. I got there and found people milling about a certain ‘Carnival’ restaurant. I looked at this as a momentary distraction. I moved in to see what all the fuss was about. Closer. Closer. Then suddenly, a flash of light blinded me and I fell to the ground and started muttering what I’m sure were things close to OMGOMGOMG. Below, the cause of the enigmatic palpitations, gutuuja.

because its more fun when they dance alone and you just watch


They were here. There. Everywhere. Forget the invite to carnivore restaurant, I chose to stick to this Carnival restaurant instead. There were some speeches. And those small fancy snacks that only appear at such events. The ones they bring on trays and you are supposed to turn away yet you want to pick 5 pieces. But you pick one. And there were drinks. And flowery carnival girls.

The Carnival is coming to Kampala. In July. 2 days of long legs, long colorful dancing processions, heavy breathing, no tear gas, smiling, hi-fives and tropical herbs. All this stuffs is brought to you by the Government of Uganda, the High Commission of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago in Kampala and the Ug private sector. The Government of Uganda. I know, right? There they were in a highly-charged meeting of Government top shots when one of them threw off his jacket and shot off,

“Guys, we should have a carnival!” those with their hands kept, more will be given

And they all went “Yay!!” and they draw up the plans. We managed to sneak into a top-shot’s wardrobe, the section marked “Kampala Carnival 2011. What I’ll wear”. The pic, it is here:

Kampala Carnival 2011 outfit

Kampala Carnival 2011 outfit

It is also possible that we took that picture at this event.

Ivan’s Return:

unidentified guest, put more than words in your mouth


The beauty of this is that;

  1. Nsaba Buturo is no longer minister so he won’t rain down on this parade and even if he could he can’t because
  2. It’s a government sanctioned event

The idea is to showcase how the two of us can work together in a fun and vibrant setting {I’ve got your fun and vibrant right here}. A certain tabloid will likely have a field day with this thing, but I suspect it will play out in much the same way surrounding a smoker with heap upon heap of cigarettes does. The overwhelming nature of it all leaves you a tad confused.

don't read this, just look

The ladies showed us what to expect (all of them Ugandan (either that or we are not so different after all) and depending on where you hang out, you can either expect an eye opener or more of the same… to expect more of the same may raise the issue of where you do hang out though))

This year’s Carnival will include a street parade featuring masqueraders in cultural costumes (or no clothes) representing the cultural heritage of Uganda’s regions and that of our brothers and sisters of Trinidad and Tobago…  It will begin at Kololo Airstrip…

To the incoming Minister Of Ethics or Pastor Sempa, if you get bored and want to go after people for no reason…. here they are

The steering committee (not to be confused with the staring committee)


Liking this article is what happens to cool people