Monday Massacres: A Tale From Transylvania

By • Apr 11th, 2011 • Category: Monday Massacres

Count Dracula is playing cards in his dark castle of Transylvania. He is playing cards with Mulepo, his buddy from outside countries who came to visit him only 2 days ago. They play. Then Dracula gets thirsty all of a sudden.

“Eh Mulepo, nga I feel thirsty is killing me.”

“You man, I thought it was only me. Even me thirsty has been killing me for some time now. Call Masitula to bring us some drinks”

(They collectively use their minds to summon Masitula out of the kitchen)

Masitula comes. She takes one look at them, stands with her hands akimbo and she says,

“But you guys, nga we are out of that drink, kawomera, that you guys like? Oba you may have to go visit those people of Twilight and ask them for some? Oba?”

And then she walks off before they can put their playing cards down.

Count Dracula: Mulepo, we go to those of Twilight?

Mulepo: Man me I don’t like those of Twilight. I hear they even have no real fangs. And they go to school. Which self-respecting vampire can go to school? Did Sematimba ever go to….ok, low blow. But first turn up that music a bit as we think….

Count Dracula gets up and walks to the boom box in the corner of the room. He turns the knob that increases volume. The volume increases. Chris Brown is blaring through the speakers.

Mulepo: Man I diiiiigg that shindig mehn (getting up to do the running man)

Count Dracula: Mulepo, I think you have misused that word.

Mulepo: (running into a beaker while doing the running man) CD, what’s a beaker doing there?

CD: That’s from my other life. Don’t let my youthful zeal and suave look fool you, I am very very old.

ED: In his younger days, CD was a traveling salesman. Our snoops snapped him. He is pictured here selling nail polish.

Count Dracula

ahoy my warm-blooded friend...we should hang out



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  • Savvy Kenya

    True, real vampires don’t go to school!