It’s still the Nineties.

By • Mar 14th, 2011 • Category: WTH

I have not exactly carried out full sociological research using seasoned historians and decorated scientists, but I still believe that this is a fact: The Nineties were the pinnacle of civilization.

 

The decade between 1990 and 1999 was the one where all cool things became coolest. Awesome was perfected during the nineties, so much so that in many ways, we in 2011 are still feeding off nineties kickassery.

 

And to prove this, just do your ears open and listen to the music. Especially what they came to refer to as “urban” music. Hip hop and R&B were honed to perfection in that decade to the extent that in terms of “Urban music” we are all STILL in the Nineties.

 

I mean, spot. Hip hop was, technically, invented in the late seventies, meaning if you go and say hip hop is for kids, I don’t know how you get the audacity, considering that the original hip hop fans are now older than you. But it really blew up in the nineties, when they stopped being ashamed of mixing it up with R&B.

Bending over and selling out worked so well that when you compare the biggest names in Hip Hop and R&B in the nineties with the biggest names in hip hop and R&B of the 2000s you find that, hey. Same niggz!

 

No one knew what he'd amount to

 

R&B first: Mary J came out in the early 90s, Usher a bit later in 97, Alicia Keys, Beyonce with her wololos… and of course R. Kelly, who at this point is basically the Yoweri Museveni of international R&B. As in the guy won’t resign from the top office.

Then the rappers: Jay-Z debuted in 96, Nas 1994, Busta went solo in 96, Snoop came out in 93, Eminem blew up in 98

 

When Young Hov was still actually young.

 

Before Jay-Z debuted, someone else was the best rapper alive. Then Jigga spent the nineties winning that title from him. Then came the 00s. And the greatest rapper alive is still a nineties dude.

 

Oh, wait. You don’t believe that Jay-Z is still the one. You think it’s this other guy: shaven monkey/rapper Lil Wayne?

 

This Lil Wayne’s recording debut with his group. 1997, babeh.

 

Weezy was a baby

You see? All the music of today was invented in the Nineties. Should I completely slamdunk this ball of an argument by reminding you of Chameleone, Bebe Cool and Bobi Wine? I think I have settled this.

 

Oh wait. One more thing. These Nineties Nostalgia articles are an attempt to get the presenters of the Early Edition on 94.8 FM for Kampala, formerly known as Vision Voice, to give us free tickets to their upcoming Nineties Night at Silk. I hope it’s working.

 

Liking this article is what happens to cool people