Monday Massacres: Only in UG E_ections

By • Feb 21st, 2011 • Category: Monday Massacres

What was a long and very eventful weekend has come to an end. It’s back to reality. For the bigger part of the population, it is back to helping old ladies walk across the street and using super powers to leap over gigantic potholes. That said, the election process/ campaign trail was not one without things that are so UG. Certain things could ONLY be in UG elections:

  1. Contestant rapper. Nuff sed
  2. We had a candidate that quit a once-flourishing music career to come and and run for presidency. Samuel Lubega. Some knew him from his former life of fast cars, hot girls, wild parties, crazy performances, fending off groupies (ok, just some of them)…back then, he was known as Big Mac Lou Bega. He had a song about girls being everywhere. Then he had a song about a snake that bit him when he was young, a song  called Mamba No. 5. When his solo career ended, he teamed up with teenage heartthrobs and oh-the-girls-love-them Nsync.
  3. You may recognize his voice in the background singing ‘Bye bye bye’ in that hit song of theirs. He didn’t appear on stage with them for fear of messing up his future plans of standing for presidency.

    He is pictured below with his singing buddies.

    Sam Lou Bega

    Bye Bye Bye

  4. We had a candidate that did not show up to vote for himself. Or to vote for another candidate. Or to vote for anyone for that matter. Minutes after 5pm on polling day, we broke the news on his whereabouts here, on ULK, your number one source of hot information. Our reports showed that he was outside countries partying  hard, celebrating his victory. Pictured here.

    However, further investigations into his movements reveal something even more sinister. Even we would have never seen this coming. Our super photographer was able to capture the smooth-talking Casanova that we know as Olara in action. Pictured here, he was getting us a first lady. A fast-talking, no-hostage-taking Nikki Minaj is pictured here with our would-have-been head-of-state-had-you-guys-not-foxed-him-on-polling-day. (Sigh) I know, I know, if only he had at least told us about their relationship, we’d have reconsidered.

    Otunnu and Nikki Minaj

    Otunnu telling Nikki about her potential roles as First Lady. She seems uninterested

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