Multiplatinum grenade catcher Bruno Mars yesterday stopped a likely bomb attack in the sparsely populated outskirts of Baghdad saving four women’s lives. This heroic albeit stupid act marks the umpteenth time Mars is catching grenades for women.
ULK has learnt that last month alone he saved over five thousand women’s lives worldwide by jumping in front of a train, throwing his hand on a blade and taking a bullet straight through the brain but miraculously survived all three impossible feats.
One of the Baghdad witnesses recounted the event after recovering from near-fatal shock over Mars’ brave and endearing act. “He saw the grenade and tried to reason with it at first. He told it ‘easy come easy go’ and then something else along those lines,” she said in tears.
“But the grenade insisted on attacking us right up to that part where he got to the chorus and that’s when he jumped in front of it and saved us. I so wanted to marry him at that point. I’m damn glad I downloaded that mp3.”
Mars wasn’t at liberty to talk about the bizarre incident but confessed that he only catches grenades for the fame and the money because he wants to be a billionaire so freaking bad.