Urban Legend Staff Meeting #34

By • Jan 25th, 2011 • Category: WTH

In attendance:

  • Senior Staff (The Five of Us)
  • Junior Staff (Business Manager)
  • Waitress

Venue:

Kiwatule Recreation Centre


Manager: Glad you could all make it sort of on time (Glares at everyone. Sarcasm flies off like water off a chicken’s ass.)

Staff: Why are we here again?

Manager:
Last time we met indoors I almost died from second hand smoke.

Staff:
Gwe, what is this place? Nga I’ve never seen it before.

Staff: It’s Kiwatule Recreation Centre. It’s like for people to bring their kids. When…

Staff: I don’t have kids! And I don’t even know what that woman is talking about. She was lying. That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.

Staff:
A father who abandons his children. How droll.

Staff: Okay, maybe just one little kid. But he’s being raised by his mother’s husband. She doesn’t know, so shush.

Staff: If it’s a place for kids, what about that group of middle aged people in the corner wearing thick Nigerian clothes and suits in this heat?

Staff: That’s the organization committee of Bidandi Ssali for president. You know this is his rec centre.

Manager: Can we open this meeting? Your attention guys, I need to get your approval of this new logo.

Staff: Bidandi Ssali is standing for President?

Staff: I think he is. And so does he.

Staff: Imagine how awesome it would be if he wins. Bebe Cool would become head of PGB!

Staff:
And he would finally have the executive powers to arrest and torture all his haters!

Manager: Guys, please, your attention. We have to look at this logo. You see, we are trying to position …

Staff: Does anyone have a light? I can’t find mine.

Manager: …position our brand…

Staff:
Which boda brought you? The cross-eyed guy with the red element?

Staff: Yeah. How did you know?

Staff: King of all pickpockets. One eye watches you the other eye watches the pockets. Check and see. You don’t have a wallet any more either.

Staff:
Shit! You’re right!

Manager:
Guys…

Staff:
Waitress, do you have those drinks with the leaves in them? The ones that be at Mateos. Emwito.

Manager:
So this logo is going to establish ULK as an ..

Staff:
No, it’s a cocktail. It has leaves in it. Called Emwito. Leaves. Tastes minty. What? Mwito. Mohito. Okay. That one.

Staff:
Dude, you want to drink a mohito? When did you come out of the closet?

Staff: ***k you! Those leaves rock. I drank those leaves at Mateos and had a flashback to the day I defiled my teacher in S1…

Staff: You defiled her?

Staff:
Well, it started with her thinking she was coming for me, but by the end it was clear who had done what to whom. I made her a woman.

Manager: Look, you guys, just take a look at the damn logo, please?

Staff: Wow. Nice. My eyes are crying. Put it there.

Liking this article is what happens to cool people

  • http://www.savvykenya.com savvykenya

    No comment. I’ve settled to saying no comment coz the posts are just too good.

  • Windhoek

    you cant put all humour ,sattire,dumbass-ness(waaaat tis correct Eng)  At tha same table and get anything done..

  • Windhoek

    you cant put all humour ,sattire,dumbass-ness(waaaat tis correct Eng)  At tha same table and get anything done..

  • Windhoek

    you cant put all humour ,sattire,dumbass-ness(waaaat tis correct Eng)  At tha same table and get anything done..