Moses “Bebe Cool” Ssali is internationally renown as one of the greatest musicians who ever lived. He has been celebrated far and wide. From Lake Victoria where they get their powers all the way to even the USA where he recently went to shoot his latest music video, after he decided that’s the only kind of shooting he likes.
The shooting of legs he is not so fond of.
We here at Urban Legend have downloaded an FLV file of this video but before we go into it, let me just reiterate how brilliant Moses “Bebe Cool” Ssali is. He is fantastic. He is the most magnificent musician who ever jumped and hopped about a stage in a rugby club.
I hope that we have appeased those who were upset by comments made earlier about Moses. We are not haters. We love him. He’s a darling.
Now, some background. As we are all aware, gangstas unknown shot bullets into Moses’ legs early in 2010. It was so gangsta that no one in Uganda was able to remove them (This was not like those bullets which soldiers who fought Kony used to have extracted on the battlefield. These ones were designer. Only Americans in LA, where they get experience from treating Bloods and Crips and Jack Bauer could extract them. So Bebe Cool fan Yoweri Museveni who is also head of state dug into his pocket, pulled out a pen and wrote a cheque.
While Moses was in states, he also took the time to shoot a music video.
The video opens with shots of American traffic signs and lights. This is to either establish Moses’ dedication to responsible driving (he is so serious about it that he drives a Hummer sometimes) or to establish that we are in America.
A luxury sedan rolls round the corner and is soon on the famous Rodeo Drive. Moses is taking a stroll on the pavement. There is a shop called “Bebe” on this street, the camera shows us.
The vehicle purrs up and next thing we know, Moses is driver’s seat. It was either a Rodeo Drive cab or Moses has fast car-jacking skills from playing Grand Theft Auto on the plasma screen TV at his mansion home in Kampala. Moses is a rich musician, for the record. Very rich. He can’t possibly play GTA on a small screen.
Wait. It’s a different car! This is not the luxury sedan we saw earlier. Now he is in a sweet silver sports car, cruising down the road checking out LA babes who as they stroll down the pavement. You look at this and admire and are filled with envy at the sight. Not at the women. We are Ugandans. We have seen hot chicks mob. I mean at the road. As smooth as a baby’s bum, not a single pothole.
And now the first appearance of a Bebe Cool video trademark: the scarf. We have a shot of him performing in a suburban driveway in front of the nice sports car and with a gang of LA girls swaying behind him. Wait. I shouldn’t have said “gang” because of the stereotype. I meant about half a dozen black LA chicks gently swaying behind him.
Next scene. The silver car whizzes through traffic. Camera breaks off to show us Moses’ red shoes. Then we see him adjusting the car radio with a hand full of rings. Wow! This is impressive. Bebe Cool is very rich.
The we introduce a new scene. A car parked on the road. Moses singing behind it. He has changed sunglasses. Now he has a red pair with one lens running right across it, like Cyclops in the X-Men. Bebe Cool is like a singing Scott Summers with a nice car that he parks on the side of roads in Los Angeles!
But that scene is over. Next scene. Same sunglasses, different scarf, and Bebe Cool is now waist-deep in a Jacuzzi surrounded by LA chicks. This time they are not just milling around as if waiting for a lift. They are now doing sexy dances.
Something is happening over at the previous roadside scene, so we cut back to that. A stretch limo has rolled up. It stops. Bebe, still singing, walks over to one of its several windows. Is he going to get in? He is rich. This might be his new ride.
No. He just peeps into the window and then returns to the other parked car and sings on. I wonder who was in that limo. Maybe the Kardashians. Maybe he was telling them that he is also called Bebe like that store on Rodeo Drive they were on the way to shop in. I think they would then thank him for that helpful bit of information. Bebe Cool is a hit with the ladies!
Man. I’m only halfway through this video and I am already so impressed. He stands in a Jacuzzi in his trousers and his scarf, his Cyclops shades and no shirt and sings. The girls wiggle. He shows us the rings again. Wow.
But now my mind is beginning to wander, because they are just repeating the same scenes over again. I wonder where he got those women. Did Museveni pay for him to travel with an entourage of dancing-girls?
Oh, as if to answer the question, we have a scene where Bebe parks the car, gets out and walks over to two LA chicks. I think he is going to chat them up. Those lucky girls might just get invited to dance in the Jacuzzi!
The video ends with him showing us that the champagne bottle he had been drinking from in the Jacuzzi was now empty.
The message is clear. Bebe Cool is rich and he goes to LA and when he is there he meets girls. He is Big Size! I am sure everyone is impressed.