How well were you paying attention during 2010? Are you ready to ace our New Year’s Quiz? Let’s see.
Have you been molested by a security guard at a checkpoint?
a) Who hasn’t?
b) Yeah. And I liked it.
c) No, but why not? What is wrong with me? Do I need to lose weight?
Did you register to vote?
a) Yeah. Bwanika oyee! Jokes, lol. No.
b) Yeah. Bwanika oyee! I’m seriousl
c) No. Unless you mean voting for Project Fame. Davis Oyee!
Did you join the Twakowa page?
a) Yeah. But I left cos I got tired.
b) Yeah. But only to crack that stale “I got tired” joke.
c) No, but I’m probably the only one on Ugandan facebook who didn’t.
Why do we need to find Michael Ezra?
a) We have sports teams that could use sponsorship
b) He owes us money, that scheming bastard.
c) We need to return these sunglasses he left behind
What was the most memorable musical concert of the year?
a) Um…. Don’t remember.
b) Stamina, no doubt. Whooo! Jangu nkulage, jangu nkulage…
c) When Rockstar Rachel K bumrushed the stage at Bayimba festival.
Seriously, what was the most memorable musical concert of the year. Jokes aside.
a) Qwela Rhythm of Life at the Serena
b) Qwela Rhythm of Life at the Serena
c) Qwela Rhythm of Life at the freakin’ Serena. That show won music!
Are Golola Moses jokes old yet?
a) Golola Moses can pocket while naked because, apparently, the nigga is a marsupial.
b) Golola Moses speaks broken English because English made him mad so he broke it.
c) When you type “Golola Moses” into google, it says, “Are you feeling lucky, punk?” Then when you don’t get the reference it explains that the line is from Dirty Harry a famous Clint Eastwood movie from before you were born, but since jokes are not funny after being explained it gives up and just provides the results.
Who shot Bebe Cool? Was it you?
a) You ask too many questions. That kind of curiosity can get a person into trouble with people like me.
b) Yes. And they arrested me. So I was in prison for a reason. Just like Mandela.
c) He wasn’t really shot. It was all a publicity stunt to cover up the truth. He was actually sent to States to have hemorrhoids surgery.
Should the Telecom Wars be turned into a movie trilogy by George Lucas?
a) Will Salma Hayek be in it? I’ll watch anything with her in it.
b) Will Adam Sandler be in it? I hate that guy. I will never watch anything with that turd in it. Msweech!
c) No. It should be the Captain Alex guy. He can send a helicopter to destroy MTN Towers. Heh.
Are you ready for the upcoming ULK Man/Woman/Thing of the Year Awards?
a) Yes. Bring them and we read.
b) No other answer is available.
c) Just (a).