Art exhibitions are a great opportunity to come off lofty and smart and intelligent and brilliant and snotty…and your green costume can pass. All you have to do is stand for hours on end in front of an art-piece holding a glass of wine and occasionally nodding your head. For good measure, intermittently mutter something.
(…mutter mutter…swirl glass…mutter mutter)
To take the art enthusiast trophy home, mutter stuff about dead artists.
(Mutter mutter…oh Picasso was the mule that his generation rode on. Mutter…stifled giggle…stifled giggle…but this piece reminds me of Van Gogh’s piece ‘Precipitating self-pleasurating’…awesome. Brilliant. Wow. Wow …trail off)
So there I was at The Opitox talking T-shirts Art exhibition last weekend with all my dead artists names lined up. Michaelangelo, Sleek, Archimedes and Oesophogus; a very well-researched list. With a name like ‘talking t-shirts’ for an exhibition, I knew I was in for a grand time. I particularly wanted to hear what Bebe Cool’s t-shirt had to say for itself. Prolly ‘I is airhead ’. Unfortunately on getting to the venue, the T-shirts on display were lovely, and they spoke quite a bit…but not as loudly as the art pieces.
For someone who does this as a hobby, Michael Orech has an impressive collection of art pieces. All African abstract art. Of the over 50 pieces on display, the ones pictured below tempted me to create a diversion and do an Oceans 18. But no diversion came to mind fast enough. Next time I’ll try clenched teeth and a girly scream, “OhmyGod (repeat 3 times, in rapid succession, while jumping up and down and fanning yourself), is that Coco Finger??!!”. At which point everyone will duck.
NB: Notice how the guitar hides the man’s privates? Very socio-conscious artist. When I grow up and I’m a traveling musician, I’ll know what else my guitar can do.
My investigative journalism skills (read black ninja costume and sunglasses) allowed me to sneak ‘back-stage’ and see some of Orech’s hidden art piece. See below.
He calls it the Mona Liza. Looks a lot like someone I know.