Presidential aspirant Olara Otunnu has today published a complete manifesto entailing how he plans to approach and lure a girl he has had a crush on since before he left the country for exile. His planning committee revealed that up to 25 billion shillings had been set aside for the project.
“We plan to start it off in a week and we’ll carry it out in accurately designed phases,” said Otunnu’s Chief Planner Ochacha Ochuchu. “First will be the ogling phase after which will come the phase where Otunnu says hi. This is the most tense and financially demanding phase. It will require us to purchase real clothes and Mariah Carey CDs for him to learn the words. Eight more phases will come after that, including one where Otunnu will take the girl to his bedroom and give her a UPC card to show her how much he loves her.”
Mr. Ochuchu said that all the phases were detailed in the manifesto adding that the project had been initiated after several concerns from the public that Otunnu was afraid of girls and therefore not a suitable leader for Uganda. ULK wishes you well in your endeavours, Mr. Otunnu.