Tonight is BK’s night and we are prepared. PREPARED!!
Shades…check. (We wear our sunglasses at night).
Lime green tracksuits (X 2)…check. (Change of clothes needed)
Moon-walking shoes…check. Just need the cobbler to work faster.
Spare army boots…check. We need to stomp the yard. Goose-march style.
Soccer ball. Super check. While others dance, Baz has it all planned out. Stand in one corner juggling a ball, and watch the ladies come in droves. Girls (in unison) “Wow Ernie, nice balls. Can we touch? (Sic)” (Why do girls speak in unison? Why? ED)
Ointment…super check. Joint pains from massive gyrations need to be curbed for massive gyrations to proceed. Wait! That’s a strong quote right there. One day they’ll look back and say;
(Heavy debate, suits flying, eyes glaring, sweat dripping…) Sleek once said, “…Joint pains from massive gyrations need to be curbed for massive gyrations to proceed….so with this in mind, it goes without saying that we are right and you guys do not know what you are saying…”
(Silence follows, Sleek’s words of wisdom finally bringing calm. Not to worry dear reader, I’ll make these tots of wisdom more regularly)
Now, back to our checklist.
Popcorn and superdip…awesome check. Awesome combination. Now how to get them in.
We are going to steal the show. For real. There, our heist is exposed. We are going to pick it up and run off with it. We’ll only return it when BK plays ‘Bend over’. Speaking of, ladies, it’s against the laws of the land to dance ANY OTHER stroke when that song is playing. Listen. Heed. The song says ‘bend over’. Hint big ass hint. (See the pun? See it? No? Ok). Guys, DO NOT listen to the words of that song. All a normal guy hears when that song plays is ‘Wibble wabble X5’. The rest is white noise.
Obviously this isn’t a ‘normal’ guy.