I’m going to attempt to write a love story. I even have some flowers and hearts down there to show how dedicated I am to the attempt. Have you watched The Notebook movie? Well, consider this the sequel. Yeah, it’s that badass. Let’s call this one: The Exercise Book. Unlike other love stories, this one has two people falling in love; a boy and a girl.
I’m an exp…transp…insp…perspiring, no, aspiring (yeah, that’s definitely it. Aspiring) romantic writer. Or is it romance writer? Whatever. I’m both. And you ask too many questions.
I don’t know the exact plot or street on which the girl stayed but whatever it was, the boy was there every night to show how much he was dedicated to winning the girl’s heart.
I think I have to come up with names for my characters; original names that will live to transcend the gloom of obscurity that is time. Let’s call the boy Romeo, and the girl Juliet. I know what you’re thinking but Shakespeare copied me. Whether you choose to believe it depends on how deep our friendship goes. Tick one:
- He’s my very intelligent friend and I believe him
- Mbu what? Hmm! Kale men are dry! I don’t believe him, he’s lying and I’m going to live a very miserable life
So Romeo liked Juliet but she was feeling feeling. He camped outside her house day and night to show how dedicated he was to the cause. The revolution. The rebellion. His army had to rise against this evil Roman tyrant. Sorry, I got carried away. I re-watched 300 last night. Awesome!
Romeo stayed outside Juliet’s house for days, weeks, months, until months turned into years. The cold wind blew, it rained on him, the sweltering sun condemned him but he stayed. He died, his body was eaten by wild cockroaches, his ghost starved to death, but he still stayed. He just had to have her.
Then one day, she got out to sweep the backyard and noticed him.
- Oh Romeo Romeo! Whence thou art siteth here for whateth?
- Oh Romeo! Why hath thoust been starving thineself for dayseth?
- It’s the 21st Century. And we’re in Kampala. Speak normally
- Oh. Me I thought people in love are supposed to talk like that
- We’re not yet in…wait, how did you know my name?
- Knowledge at first sight? Anyway, it’s tattooed on your left arm. You look awful. Why are you seated out here?
- Seriously? I’ve been here for years and you’ve never noticed me
- Er, it’s the backyard. No one comes these ends like at all. What are you doing here?
- I came to fall in love with you
- No! You’re stupid! Go away! Bangladesh!
- What’s wrong with you?
- I’m acting hard to get first?
- And that’s how you do it? I am Romeo. You are Juliet. We are supposed to fall in love. That’s just how life is
- That’s making me cheap just. At least read me a poem
- My Juliet. You’re very talented and…
- Let’s just go and fall in love
And that’s how they write love stories. Happy 500 members.