Apple launches the iSuck

By • Oct 26th, 2010 • Category: Technology

Steve Jobs unveils the iSuck

After years of rumours and speculation, technology titan Apple today announced its long-awaited gadget, the iSuck. CEO Steve Jobs complemented the introduction of the new device with a free Leone Island CD to showcase how the device works.

Jobs kicked off the company’s launch event in San Francisco by playing Chameleone’s track, Here We Go featuring Beenie Man before revealing that the device automatically censors the parts of any song that suck. “Note how Beenie Man does his thing smoothly and then the device automatically mutes that other guy’s part,” he told the excited crowd.

Additional features on the device include AT&T powered Auto-Suck Dial (ASD) that automatically dials the muted artiste’s number and opens a tirade of dirty but honest words on the artiste. The device user does not have to have the artiste’s number stored in their phonebook. It automatically searches through AT&T’s database of useless but somehow successful artistes and dials the number. It can even throw them out of hospital windows if you wish.

Pricing for the iSuck starts at $1,200 much to the chagrin of many Apple enthusiasts. However, one early user from Uganda complemented the device pointing out that it was worth every penny. “I uploaded a song by Good Lyfe and it froze at Weasal’s part. It wouldn’t work anymore. I’ve never had this much peace in my life. I’m grateful to Apple for this innovation.”

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