My friend is after my girl

By • Oct 15th, 2010 • Category: Uncle Agony

Uncle Agony dear,

My close friend and workmate Tom knows I’m in a relationship with a girl I love so much but he does not respect that fact. He keeps hitting on my girl and I may be paranoid but I think the more it happens, the more responsive she gets to his advances. I want to keep him away but don’t know how. I need help.

Name withheld.

Name withheld dear,

Nice name. You must be from outside countries. Because of that, I will favour you. In Uganda we favour bazungu. Our waitresses serve them first before serving us the ga-black ones. The easiest way to keep Tom away is to call him on Warid and refuse to hang up Pakalast. Or you can go and slash his compound just for just. Or you can write a very threatening note that says “My friend, I know you and I know where you work. Stay away from my girlfriend” and give it to him. Or you can just bank your girlfriend in DFCU. Those chaps have very few ATM machines. Tom would find it hard to withdraw her. Or you can get Tom a government job. He’d automatically become slow and inefficient. Or you can add “Kip” to her name. He’d never catch her. Or you can just report him. Hitting on someone can lead to death especially if they do it on the wrong spot. He could hit on her head and she dies.

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