Newly introduced piece-of-shit medal awarded to dead Presidents

By • Oct 10th, 2010 • Category: Politics

Late President Milton Obote has been publicly credited and awarded a new piece-of-shit medal in recognition of his contribution, in one way or another, to Uganda’s attainment of self-rule. This was at the 48th Independence anniversary at Kololo Airstrip on Saturday that saw other dead people walk away with the same award.

According to the chairman of the National Honours and Medals Committee Gen. Elly Tumwine, the newly-introduced piece-of-shit National Independence Medal is just an innovative way to make people think that the government cares and a way to pass time instead of talking about real post-independence issues relevant to the future of the country.

“I mean it’s independence day, right? We had to come up with something especially now that elections are coming up. We were tired of the same old routine-speeches, soldiers marching around, empty promises, blah blah, blah-and needed to evolve this highly competitive industry of Independence celebrations,” he said. “Besides, it doesn’t hurt to honour ex-Presidents, as long as they are dead and honouring them could get us re-elected.”

He added that when alive, Obote was despised by President Museveni and, at one time, likened to a swine but the medal changes all that. “I’m not sure what exactly he contributed to the attainment of independence but I’m sure he did something, one way or another. People should now understand that this government strategically cares about ex-Presidents, as long as they are dead.” Before dying in exile in Zambia five years ago, Obote was not awarded anything but simply scorned for a lot of political mischief.

Lira Municipality MP, Jimmy Akena, received the piece-of-shit medal on behalf of his late father. Kabaka Edward Mutesa was also among the dead people awarded for his contribution, one way or another, to Uganda’s independence.

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