My name is Rock Music. After reading one of the recent Issues of New Vision’s City Beat magazine, I am concerned and perturbed by rumours walking around that I am involved in a clandestine affair with Rachel K. This is to inform the general public that contrary to popular insinuations, until yesterday, I had never seen, heard of or even met anyone named Rachel K. I have never had carnal knowledge with that woman.
I only met her yesterday through a close friend, Goddamn Local Music, who disclosed to me that miss Kiwanuka (Rachel K) desperately wanted to be a part of my life. In fact, my friend played me a few CDs that showed Rachel K cruelly forcing herself on me. The things that came off that CD were extremely painful and psychologically torturing. However, out of sheer respect for her, I didn’t file for assault. I respectfully said no to her advances and walked away.
I humbly ask the media and everyone else involved to please stop linking me to that woman. In the same vein, I’d like to make it clear that I’ve never moved out with Angela Katatumba or anyone from Blu*3. The latter are the ones who tried to hit on me one Thursday night at Steak Out with their song, Strong Woman (Which really agitated me because they are already in a serious relationship with my friend, Goddamn Local Music). I hope my plea will not be ignored.