Urban Legend Kampala

Lost & Found: General Sejusa's Ninja Letter
If you’ve been on the Ugandan internets, then you know that Uganda Police downloaded the new version of Angry Birds and played it yesterday at the Daily Monitor and Red Pepper offices. They raided the offices of two newspapers and two radio stations, not to send dedications to loved ones, but ... Read More
Monday Massacres: How To Be An Amazing MP
(Mellow sound of a stream of water flowing. Deep baritone comes in over that) Here at Urban Legend Kampala’s plush, air-conditioned offices, we aim to guide you to achieve your dreams. We know you have aspirations. We do research and give you facts and figures on how to get there. Today ... Read More
A Ninja's Interview With BET Award Nominees Moze Radio & Weasel TV
By now I believe you’ve all heard that Ugandan entertainment appliances, Radio & TV were nominated for the 2013 BET Awards? The BET Awards are not those of sports betting. They are what happens when a black entertainment television station from outside countries pokes its nose in talented people’s business like ... Read More
A Public Safety Announcement
The police have launched a fantastic new promotion powered by the Ugandan public. In the exciting development, Ugandans will have to perform a number of basic tasks to help the desired police officer win cash prizes. GIVE YOUR WALLET A SPACE-LIFT. At the lower end of the spectrum, the general public will ... Read More
Who Or What Is Iron Man 3?
You have heard everyone talking about how torn they are that they went for Iron Man and found it sold out. You have seen the fire in their eyes and felt the spittle that splashed out of their mouths. You have wondered at the irony of this rain coming from ... Read More
Monday Massacres: Why lipstick and a Moustache affect your performance
New police disciplinary guidelines written by Inspector General of Police, Kale Kayihura, if they are to be approved, will mean that the boys in white will no longer have moustaches. Their female colleagues won't be able to wear lipstick or short uniforms. We sent a team into the field to ... Read More
Theft In Uganda | An Introduction To The Mafia
The internets define the mafia as an organized international body of criminals, operating originally in Sicily and now especially in Italy and the US. I’ve therefore come to the conclusion that these internets are made in China. The original ones that we use here at ULK headquarters define the mafia simply ... Read More
Monday Massacres: MUK Lecturers Breaking Bad
Lecturers at the prestigious Makerere University called off a strike for an increase in their pay...probably because it costs money to send Museveni innumerable messages asking that he increases your pay. Or maybe it was the shock discovery that they'd been sending the messages to the wrong number all this ... Read More
Where Are They Now? Inspector Derrick
He is still immortalised in our minds as the classic template of the TV procedural cop drama. I am short of coffee and therefore don't want to write a proper intro. Anyway, see this guy? The words that follow are an interview with him. Q: On the line we have Horst Tappert, ... Read More
12 Steps To Success: How To Be A Security Guard
It is The Urban Legend 12 Step Guide to Success in Whatever You Do: Leggo. Think of all the people who have ever pissed you off since you were a kid and hate them. Hate them a lot. Hate them all day long. Now with all that hatred and evil and loathing ... Read More